19th
New Job: Week 1
Newborns often cry when they wake up. I’ve recently resurrected that behavior. Hopefully, like the infants, I will grow out of it. There is at least one point everyday, usually mid-afternoon sometime, when tears well up in my chest and I feel like jumping through the window and running to a coffee shop where all of the other artists spend their weekdays, and in those moments I am mostly sure that I’m going to walk down the hallway and quit. But so far I haven’t, because most of the time I fall on the side of thinking that this is a good thing and that I will get the hang of it.
Most of the time.
Every night, I ask my husband if we can run away, and he says yes. Then we talk about where we’re going, and what we’ll do there… live off the land. Bathe in the sun. Breathe in the fresh air. We make plans, pray and fall asleep.
Then the alarm goes off, and I am newborn.
