Chucking Bologna and Salvaging the Cheetos

This page has been where I vent my anger issues.  I get so frustrated at people, especially myself, and I don’t know where else to blow off steam.  I believe in Grace.  When will I learn to live it?  I want to be wise and zen-like.  Understanding.  Patient.  Secure in my own identity.  But I am usually none of those things.  A lot of times I still catch myself literally ‘trying to be cool’.  Just like when I was 14.  What is wrong with me?   And I feel like such a fraud.  But I’m not.  It’s not that I’m pretending to be someone I’m not.  It’s that I’m striving to be myself, which sometimes just ends up looking like the same thing.