20th
I know I’m cute! …dammit
Cute.
I am told at least once every other day that I. am. cute. And you’d think that if I were to believe it, it’d be something that would go straight to my head and I’d be this unbearably confident person. But that’s not the case. I do believe it. I know it’s a fact. It must be true if so many unrelated people who do not connect with each other to discuss the subject all come to the same conclusion. I am cute.
And I hate it.
I don’t hate the people who say it, and I don’t get mad at them, personally. Usually they mean it as a compliment, and I try to take it as such, but the thing is that I am not a bunny rabbit or a member of the Lollipop Guild. I am a relatively mature adult. A professional artist who wants to be taken seriously. And I feel like a professional artist who wants to be taken seriously. So naturally, it snags me a little whenever I get the sense the rest of the adult world is doting on me as if I were cooing in a stroller. It’s not something I try to be. In fact, I’ve made several attempt to not be, but I just end up feeling like one of those really angry lapdogs. ”Oh look! She’s barking! Aw, how CUTE!” …Futile.
Of course, there is the kind of cute as in what adolescents call each other when they find each other attractive. Like, “Damn, that chic is cute!” I’d like to think that sometimes, maybe they’re really saying that I’m hot, or FOIN, if you will. That’d be a real compliment. But most-likely it’s usually the cooing thing.
I pay attention and listen closely for other clues of how I am perceived. I like to know how the outside world interprets what I’m projecting from in here. But pretty much all I know at this point is that I am VERY cute. Intelligent? Annoying? Interesting? Attractive? Neurotic? I don’t know. But definitely cute.
Cute.
Is the word annoying you yet?
Cute.
Just wait. It’ll start to get to you.
Cute! You’re so CUTE!
I suppose there are worse things than being cute. I’ll make the best of it, I suppose. But if it seems that sometimes I walk around as if I’m just ready to kick someone’s ass… well, that is why.
