August 2009
1 post
I know I'm cute! ...dammit
Cute.
I am told at least once every other day that I. am. cute. And you’d think that if I were to believe it, it’d be something that would go straight to my head and I’d be this unbearably confident person. But that’s not the case. I do believe it. I know it’s a fact. It must be true if so many unrelated people who do not connect with each other to discuss the...
July 2009
1 post
I’m growing increasingly skeptical of most sermons, which is an unfortunate situation for a pastor’s wife. I sit through many. I love the concept of church as a community and even the concept of meeting regularly to worship and encourage each other. There are a few teachers who I will still listen to, like my husband, Rob Bell, Tony Campolo. But at least once or twice a week, I sit...
June 2009
0 posts
Bamboo and Providence?
Some thoughts and impressions exist like bamboo. No matter how hard you try to get rid of it- cut it down, dig up the roots, plant something else- it keeps growing. It will always grow back. So you have two options: live in a constant state of denying it any advantage -dig, hack, pull, replace- or… grow bamboo. Only, in real life, I like bamboo. It’s not really a menacing...
May 2009
2 posts
I had two fellowship meals on Sunday.
Lunch was a large, spiritual cookout with baked beans, potato salad and all things pork. Pork ribs, pork sausage, pork steaks and also a little bit of beef and whatever it is that hotdogs are made of. And kool-aid. And deserts made from boxed mixes.
And then
Dinner was a small, spiritual gathering at a friend’s house. We had Vegan Pad Thai served...
April 2009
1 post
Life in Stacked Boxes
How are we not all completely insane?
I walked up to the building daydreaming that my days were spent laughing with heroes. The chatty businessmen were there with their smoldering vices that keep them in the 3 feet of covered space between the wall and the rain. One smiled and held the door open for me, and I woke from my dream just in time for a quick “Thank you,” and to realize...
March 2009
3 posts
Dreams and their Inevitable Disappointments
When I used to think of the challenges my morals would face when pursuing a career in production, I would think of having to work with sleazy sex scenes or gory violent ones. It never dawned on me that my first televised project would be a manipulative infomercial attempting to sell motivational speaking materials. The message this piece attempts to communicate is that by spending $49.95 to buy...
Observation 32,009
In traffic on Memorial headed North to the BA, I sat behind a Green Camry with a bumper stick that said, “Save Lives! Look Twice for Bikes!”
From the opposite direction, a motorcyclist sped by with both legs sticking out, attempting to lift his bottom off of his seat and stand on his hands. His bike wavered. He dropped one foot to the ground, dragging his foot to regain his balance...
New Job: Week 1
Newborns often cry when they wake up. I’ve recently resurrected that behavior. Hopefully, like the infants, I will grow out of it. There is at least one point everyday, usually mid-afternoon sometime, when tears well up in my chest and I feel like jumping through the window and running to a coffee shop where all of the other artists spend their weekdays, and in those moments I am mostly...
November 2008
1 post
This page has been where I vent my anger issues. I get so frustrated at people, especially myself, and I don’t know where else to blow off steam. I believe in Grace. When will I learn to live it? I want to be wise and zen-like. Understanding. Patient. Secure in my own identity. But I am usually none of those things. A lot of times I still catch myself literally ‘trying to be...
October 2008
1 post
Just to spite you
…by getting frustrated by the same old broken record conversations of tunnel vision songs that ask questions but don’t listen to the answers… For the last time, I AM AN INDEPENDENT! I get it now. You’re not actually interested in my thoughts. You’re not actually trying to understand. You don’t really want to know how one can vote for a DEMOCRAT!!!!! (this is...
September 2008
4 posts
Are you done?
Thanks for writing, Anna. I was a little taken back by your message. You took me off guard, but that’s okay. We can talk about this… First, I want you to know that I haven’t given up on you as a person, and I still love you as much as I ever did. Second, there’s something you need to understand… Back when you were in the Youth Group, I cared about you very...
Friend Mix
C and J Stub - Outdoorsy, love mountains, rock climbing, tevas and german shepherds. C loves condiments and chicken fingers and is sensitive. C is dominating in the relationship.
C and A Fost - Interracial couple. Love Jamaica and track and field. A is very introverted. C is very opinionated, but has a fun sense of humor. Don’t like NBC because of their ‘biased...
Aliens are green. That's just the way it is.
I think I’m beginning to understand that the reason I don’t feel like everyone else there is because I am not. I am not just another member of the group, and I cannot conduct myself as such. I would never choose to be there instead of somewhere else. They do. I am there for a different reason. I have a different role to play, and I need to be aware of that. And okay with it.
...
Why am I upset?
It’s September 4th and we haven’t heard from the bank yet whether or not we are definitely approved for the loan. I am nervous and stressed. I’m scared about the business venture now, not the most confident I’ve ever been. I suddenly feel like I have no idea what I am doing.
My dog is driving me crazy. He’s an energetic puppy who is getting bigger and bigger and...
July 2008
1 post
Please
Faith, prayer, is not about trying to manipulate God and try to getting him to be on our side. It is about changing and learning how to be on God’s side. It’s not about getting things to go our way. It’s about finding His way, which happens to be the only right way.
I remember trying to manipulate you, God. I don’t know why you put up with that. Or why you sustain a...
May 2008
5 posts
ASS
You are such an incompetent ASS! You talk too much, and most of it’s stupid. Everyone thinks so, yet I’m the one who will defend you when you’re not around. And now I’m the one you want to insult. Fine! Hate me for what I said to your face out of respect, and keep on pretending like others don’t mock you when you’re not around. I am actually trying to help...
Disdainful Admiration
I just don’t want to be accused of being naive. As long as I know something, I want to know everything. But sometimes I think of that infamous bliss that is ignorance. Oh, to live in a world where I am always right, the world is safe, everything makes sense and people aren’t arrested at gunpoint half a mile from my house. Sweet, sweet ignorance. No wonder so many bury their...
My Freaking Long Response to the Issue of Abortion
Brace yourself. I think that making abortions illegal is like trying to kill a dandelion by cutting off the yellowish-orange flower part. It’ll make it less visible, but it isn’t going to accomplish your goal. You have to get to the root. Hear me out. I’ve done a lot of soul searching on the issue of abortion as well. A LOT! And here’s where I stand: I hate abortions and...
Goodbye to the Children
There’s too much pride for anyone to be proud And no one can listen when everyone’s loud. I flexed my control You bucked in your fear And all that it earned us were tears. I wish I could hold you and make it okay If your pain were a fly, I’d shoo it away But it’s not It’s a root deeper than trees And there’s no more strength left in me. Your world is a...
What I wish I could say to your face
You are the kid who sits there needing to hear this the most, but you’re not listening. The message is for you, but you refuse to hear it. You sit there, vain in your ignorance. A slave to your own arrogance and annoying the rest of us with your conceit. Distracting from the purpose. I just want to smack you in the face sometimes and let you know that you’re becoming the worst...
April 2008
2 posts
JEREMIAH WRIGHT, SHUT YOUR FREAKIN' MOUTH AND LET...
Okay, seriously though. Why should everyone get all pissed at Barack because his pastor has lost his freaking mind? That guy is either a media opportunist, or someone is giving him money to make an ass of himself so that Obama will have negative publicity. Knowing the way things usually go in this country, it’s probably the latter. Because, Oh yes… please… lets just keep...
Here's my stench, oh crowded universe
A mind is like a High School locker on a Monday morning. You open it up and the stank sort of punches you in the nose hairs. Holy shit! What the hell is in there? Sweaty gym socks and dirty shoes… A 30-year-old text book complete with funky text book odor… half a moldy bologna sandwich… a loogie someone hocked through the air slots… mmm! Cheetos! Anyway, that sucker...